Kelly Clarkson is celebrating a huge milestone of her namesake talk show by getting personal with fans about the ups and downs of life in the spotlight. Taking the stage for her 1,000th episode on March 20, the “Because of You” singer told her audience they had “created a community and supported each other through a lot of ups and downs,” adding that she had experienced “a lot of ups and downs personally as well.”

The host then added, “I’ve lost, alone, a lot.” Audience members were left to wonder whether or not this was a veiled reference to her recent unexplained absence from the show, or perhaps to her 2020 divorce from her former manager Brandon Blackstock.

The overarching theme, however, was gratitude. Clarkson repeatedly thanked her audience for their ongoing loyalty. “Looking back, we are all incredibly proud of what we’ve built and the community we’ve created,” Clarkson said. “I am grateful to everyone who has been a part of this journey. It has been such a cool time. Thank you so much.”

Clarkson has hosted The Kelly Clarkson Show since 2019 when it welcomed its first-ever guest, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Since then, the series has hosted the likes of Jessica Alba, Hailee Steinfeld, Ben Affleck, Selena Gomez, and Dwyane Wade. For her 1,000th episode, Clarkson sang a rendition of Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing,” after which she interviewed Madea creator Tyler Perry.

Earlier this year, the longtime host spoke with People in an exclusive interview, during which she reflected on a few of those “ups and downs” mentioned on March 20. “I was going through a really rough few years, and even in the first season it was rough behind closed doors,” Clarkson told the publication. “Just to be able to come into season five feeling good and knowing my kids feel good—and the dust has settled. Season five is my first season to actually enjoy every minute of it.”